#2053

Jayne

After several drunk and sober episodes of being nosey on my boyfriend’s Facebook account where I’ve a) deleted an album featuring him and his last girlfriend on vacation–I couldn’t ask him to take it down because I didn’t want to appear jealous–I got tired of looking at the photos. I feel badly as I don’t know if he has a back up somewhere but I’m sure he can ask her for copies as they are still Facebook friends.
b) Contacted her as him to say that he was doing something with me after reading yet another message about her crappy love life. She uses him as a personal dear Abby. He allows it but I guess in my drunk state, I had enough. She responded sarcastically. Rather than engage, I blocked her. That caused quite an issue with her. The funniest part was that she thought he confronted me about it when he never said a word or questioned me about it. But the worst part was he lied and said I blocked several of his friends when reality it was only her. His lie was bad because it showed me that he is a coward.
c) I had access to his Facebook account. I was not drunk as I have cut back on my drinking a lot in the last two months. I knew better than to block her so I unfollowed her on his behalf. Not the first time that I did this but I have laid low since the blocking incident. The way I figure it is they are in fairly frequent contact so not having her in his newsfeed shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I’ll never know because he’ll never confront me about it if he figures it out.
d) We’re middle aged people. I feel like an idiot for letting jealousy get the better of me. That said I did tell him that he shouldn’t have been in the dating pool without giving himself time to recover from that relationship. I also told him I felt like a rebound girl. The way he handled the whole thing tainted our relationship. We’ve been together for several years but I didn’t trust him or believe in our relationship until maybe a year ago. I blame the way he handled things for that. The insecurity and jealousy at the beginning lead me to cheat on him twice. In retrospect, I regret that but I was angry that he wouldn’t ease up on his friendship with this woman. I now understand that she really is over him and I think that he has come a long way in getting over her but her presence in his life still bugs me. That’s why I don’t feel bad for being underhanded and sabotaging their Facebook communication by hitting the unfollow button.
e) I’m getting better. I could have reviewed her page while I was signed in as him. I chose not to. Progress.

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