When I was in school.. I was hopelessly romantic. People used to say I can date anyone I like, they thought I was pretty enough. Bt I never had a relationship.
I had too many crushes, they were people I mostly never interacted with. So I imagined their personalities as my own will. But then a minor interaction with them and also some genuine facts about them, changed my thoughts. U changed my crushes like that. People often told me.. Go and confess, maybe ur crush liked you too. But how would I explain it to my friends that I was hesitatant. What if the situation turns awkward.. What if he likes me too, am not ready for all this romance.. What if he is a completely different person. And so never felt attached to anyone,neither I felt bad when many of my crushes went along with some other girls.. Never cried over any boy, in my entire school life. I thought I was weird.
Then in 10th, me and my male best friend, he proposed me and bcz I felt comfortable and happy around him, I thought maybe that was love and I said yes! Bt I never behaved like a girlfriend. He started getting weird and weird, he wanted me to be his girlfriend, bt I always behaved like a friend. I understood by the end of 6 months.. This is not a relationship for Me. Nd so I got out of these things. I cried for the first time, because I felt troubled, the school romance started to feel stupid. I felt I am not emotional enough or maybe romantic enough.
I just had focus on my family, bcz I had some family problems, on myself nd my studies. I was so engrossed in myself that I never got emotionally attached.
For the high school, I had a crush again, but not a serious one. At the end of 12th, my friends told me to confess to that person. Jokingly I confessed to him that I had a crush. He thought I wanted a relationship or something and as he was he serious abt his studies, so he won’t get into all this. To his reply, I didn’t feel bad at all. I thought he is stupid, getting a crush is not equivalent to wanting a relationship! Who wants a relationship when you have 3 months left for boards. Nd then my school life ended. I had good scores, cracked competitives, but I didn’t have a school romance, never cried over a one sided love or getting cheated , never kissed in the school premises, romantically boring school life! Should I feel sad about it?