I fell in love with a woman over 25 years ago, but she left me after a year of dating. I was completely shattered. About 5 years later I met a wonderful, beautiful woman, fell deeply in love with her and married her. She is superior than my old flame in every way. It merely divided my heart. All this time has passed, my love for my wife has grown, and I still think about my old flame almost every day. I can still smell her perfume, feel her hair, hear her voice. I know it never would have worked long-term, but I long for her regardless. I know I should be over her by now, but I’ve begun to accept the fact that I never will be. At once I am truly grateful for my life as a whole, yet I sometimes look forward to my own mortality as a sweet escape from the torture of hopeless, guilty longing.