When will I be enough? Will I ever be enough? When will I’ll be chosen over others? When will I become a priority? After everything these are the questions that keep running in my head because you made me feel I was and will never be enough for you, they there’s someone much better than me that you’ll rather be with, you left me for someone else making me feel that I didn’t give enough that I wasn’t in the slightest wasn’t good enough for you. You choose others over me making me inferior to them, making me feel that I’m so easily replaced. I was your second option, you left then when you couldn’t have that girl you came back to me, couldn’t be your girl because you already choose someone else, I was this girl that when you can’t have someone or be with someone I’ll be on standby. Do you know how that feels? Of course you don’t. Even though others asked me I refused them even though I know I deserve more than what you make me feel, however because I’m stupid and an idiot I keep choosing you over and over losing people along the way as I choose you. You might say that after we seperate I’m with other man, but he’s not just a man he’s a best friend and like an older brother to me. I talked to him about you how I liked you, how I feel about you and I cried to him. We weren’t together for romantic relationship we were best friends and he even let me talked to his girlfriend saying it’s much better to talked girl problem with a girl. But I know you wouldn’t listen to reasons so it’s much better to let you think what you want because if you really want to know all you have to do is asked. I always listen to your side, listen to your explanation and because I’m an idiot I always believe you even your lies, even though it hurted me I still still hold on to the thought that you’re telling the truth. I wanted to talk to you badly, but i know that we’ll just ended up blaming each other so there’s really no use, because if one try not to understand the other even though the other try the best to understand nothing good will ever end up as a good conversation. Even though there’s things to clear up you won’t even utter a word again and that’s the most painful thing. You wouldn’t know the feeling of being shut off because every time you did something and try to reach out to me I always ended up talking and making up with you. Now I hate the word love because it doesn’t really matter to others, they just easily say it like you did, but for me that word is too precious that I rarely used that word. I said it to you and I regret now because once I drop that word it comes from the bottom of my heart and soul, it’s the same as giving my whole being to you and you just broke it. You’re probably with someone else now, I hope you’re happy and I hope that what you made me went through will never happen to you, dying inside is much worse that really dying because the feeling of a walking corpse is much worse than lying 6ft under the ground.

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