#1848

FELT:

to 1848:

I just need to talk to someone, as the stories of one other felt different, the fact or the reason she said to me is vague. I have never been contented knowing the reason why, despite I don’t want to talk to her anymore. Although I’m at my fault of why things happened, letting my emotions went in, but I gave her the time to explain she said, she just said nothing, she doesn’t want to like someone as of the moment. She said there was no spark, but the thing our mutual friend said that we do have different stories, how come? Those 3 reasons including the fact you said no matter what I did to her, nothing is coming to happen for me to be loved. I just want to know the reason why such thing is happening, it is just vague. And then when you tell the reason, I’ll leave. Because the fact I was there for you for 2 months when you are alone, when you don’t have a mood at all, and then you just want to be friends only because you weren’t ready or there is no spark? What is the real reason? Were you sugarcoating?

I just fucking want to know the real reason. According to our mutual friend, it is really different. But I was only referring to what is given or what the conversation happened. Obviously she didn’t tell the whole details, hence only a few people happened to knew what is like to be in her side. I’ll tell sorry but that’s the only thing I would able to do to her because we don’t know the side of each other’s stories. Our mutual friend said it is better if we don’t talk to each other (despite not talking to her for a week already). So that the pain wouldn’t be as much, either way, I just want to say sorry for any misunderstandings I have, or the emotions I let out when I was into that situation. But yeah, I don’t wanna talk to her anymore, our coping mechanisms is different, she wants me to be still her friend.

She said she would be still there for me if I do have problems or something but it’s just being friends. However, it does feel disheartening for me to endure that, imagine telling your partner to give up, because he/she doesn’t feel any feeling the same way as you do. It’s kinda stupid that she said she hoped I wouldn’t get angry and hoped I would understand her, but I got pissed over that, naturally anyone would be angry by that. But making someone not to be angry is just out of context. It’s true I don’t know her side of the story, but like I said I want to know the reason out of it, yet the explanation she gave were just no spark, or yeah like the reasons I said above. She didn’t.

I’ve been pissed entirely, but soon enough I’ll forget her.

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