#1838

It was just a normal day. My normal fucked up sleeping sched of sleeping at 7-10 AM and waking up at 4-6 PM. It was around 2-3 AM, I was using the computer in living room like I usually did whenever it was that time. I suddenly hear my parents shouting at each other a few minutes after my father had went upstairs, my mother already being there. My dad had told me numerous times to go to sleep earlier, but I just couldn’t get myself to do so, I got used to this sleeping schedule. I was searching some stuff on the web and hear my dad’s shouts getting louder and louder. I heard something get thrown from upstairs and acted like I hadn’t noticed it since I really didn’t want to get involved. Well, I did eventually. A few seconds after I heard something get thrown to the floor from upstairs my dad went downstairs, saying something I couldn’t understand that well, he was shouting it at me though, I panicked and before I knew it my hair was getting pulled by him as he was trying to pull me upstairs I reacted by screaming, because of course that hurt me, both physically and emotionally. My mom probably heard me screaming and immediately went downstairs to see me getting pulled with my hair by my dad, she told him to stop and told me to go upstairs and lie down, as I did go upstairs I immediately started crying because I didn’t understand what was happening. One moment I’m searching for whether it’s West Philippine Sea or South China Sea, then the next my dad’s pulling my hair. I kept crying for a solid 5-7 minutes, or at least what it felt like to me. My dad went upstairs and started explaining why he’d done that but he explained it while shouting. He said everything that was wrong with the household or me and my siblings, she blamed on him. She blamed my sleeping schedule on him the most. I hated it. I knew I should’ve fixed my sleeping schedule but you really just can’t do that too easily. I don’t know who is to blame. My sleeping schedule, my mom’s anger, or my dad getting fed up. I feel like I’m to blame the most, of course. The only reason this ever happened was because my fucked up sleeping schedule was blamed on him by mom every. Fucking. Day. He had absolutely nothing to do with that, I want to justify him for that but I don’t know what the best decision is as of the moment. Everything’s just messed up. I don’t know what to do. I know the easiest thing to do is to fix my sleeping schedule, but that might take a while, meanwhile telling them would take less time but would be more difficult for me to handle. I want to fix things, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to start doing that. I don’t know what to do.

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One thought on “#1838

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  1. Quarrel with parents is normal matters as long as they are still love u so much. Sometime maybe they are facing stress outside work, it is a normal matter. Just consider that day is a mad day after that forgive them. Sometimes parents quarrel, just left them quarrel dont bother anything. Dont ever bother . Add oil. Life still goes on. If the love story always in quiet situation, the marriage will be not very normal.Sometimes, they are just argue something, after few days they will become normal. Tolerance them.

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