#1808

李Li:

You have no idea how much you broke me. Because you have no Idea how much I love you. Yes, I pretended not to care, acted like nothing happened but did you ever wonder why? Because I know your situation and I don’t want my feelings to be a burden to you, I don’t want things to be awkward between us that’s why I pretended to be happy, pretended that everything is fine. But now, now we’re back to being strangers, it would have been nice of we didn’t meet at all that way I’ll be able to save myself from feeling this pain and this feeling of worthlessness. I hate myself for loving you and hate myself that I put you first before me. I put your feelings first before mine. I put you as a priority when I wasn’t even yours. I hate myself for doing all those things. It was a path to self-destruction, look at me now, completely broken trying to find myself, trying to forget, hell even trying to sleep because you cloud my thoughts, I take meds just to fall asleep a thing you won’t go through because I’m no one, because I’m easily forgotten, easily replaced. And if it’s possible that I can stop my heart from beating, I will because I don’t want to feel anything anymore. Just know if I suddenly disappear, I was able to successfully stop my heart from beating. Remember that you’ll always be in my heart even if that happens.

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