#1787

Yeah…:

What’s wrong? What’s wrong? What’s eating away at my existence? Everything. Everything is wrong. Nothing is right in the world. For years now, I have had to put on this mask and act like a happy person who doesn’t have a struggle in the world. The truth is, I’m hurting. Everything just feels like a dark void. I’m lost. Since middle school, I have been bullied, mocked for my appearance, told I’m no better than my grades on a little sheet of paper, used for nothing but my grades, and all my friends are gone. They left me for the populars or left me because they thought I wasn’t worth hanging around. When I tried to be my young, bubbly self, everyone mocked me or told me I was strange and made me feel as though I couldn’t be myself. It made me feel that society was telling me that I could only be a serious, quiet goodie two shoes. I’m sick of it. I have been so hurt for the past several years I don’t know what to believe anymore. I guess bottling feelings for so long isn’t good, because this is what happens. Everything is just flooding. I feel like I have nothing and all I want to do is go home, turn off all my lights, and cry in the dark for all that I have lost over past years. No one is here for me. In the past, I haven’t been able to let anyone know because I was afraid I would offend someone or be told that I am stupid for feeling this way. I never wanted to break any bond I had. I never wanted to let my, god I don’t even know what to call it, hurt any of my friends and make me lose the best ones of my life. I love them and cherish them to death but I can’t stop these thoughts and they just all decided to come at once. I get these feelings where my chest tightens and I get the strong urge to cry and worry about right now and the future. I wish someone could tell me it all gets better but as of now, everything is only getting darker and darker as more and more of my friends either leave or forget me.

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