i honestly dont know anymore. i’ve realized how unproductive i’ve been the past few months. i’ve done absolutely nothing and it just makes me think of how i can be productive this summer. i dont wanna lay around all day doing nothing and staring at my phone, but that IS what i do, and i hate it. sure, twitter, facebook, youtube, mobile games and other things are fun but what good will that ever even bring me? it’s just entertainment.
i get so jealous of the other people spending their time wisely, going out and actually doing things. if i’m like this right now, how will i be in the future? see this is what’s wrong with everything, i want to do something but i’m not doing anything because i have no idea what to do and how i can do it. just spending my day sleeping and staying up until 9 or 10 AM, it’s a load of bullshit honestly. i wanna do something, but i can’t.
there’s a lot of boundaries, i want to do something, but i have these boundaries and i can’t do what i want to do, and go on and think of another one and it’s just a complete fucking cycle. it’s a headache. can’t do anything that’ll improve anything. i just wanna do something. playing games all day and sharing posts on social media isn’t really the best way to spend your summer vacation.
i wanna go out with friends, learn new songs on my ukulele and guitar, improve my drawing skills, but sometimes those things never really go well and it never happens. i get so sad over this topic, i basically do nothing my whole summer vacation, every summer vacation. it’s repetitive and boring. i wanna try something new so bad but i don’t know what i can do.