dont know how i can start this off. i stay up a lot, but this time i watched a whole lot of sad stories, it made me realize how much worse people are going through than i am, and there was this story about this guy’s mom who passed away, he talked about how he regretted not spending enough time with her, and i kind of related to that, but with my grandmothers. both of them had passed away while i was still pretty young, my grandma on my mother’s side dying maybe while i was 5 or 6, and on my dad’s side i was still 8. i regret having to not be able to spend enough time with the both of them. my grandma on my mother’s side lived at a province, and we only visited once a year for a few weeks during summer vacation, and on my dad’s side, we lived in the same city, but my parents were always just too busy to ever pay a visit. my grandma on my dad’s side used to call a lot, i think, she would come over sometimes and bring food, talk to us, i miss that. i miss her. my grandma on my mom’s side died of lung cancer, im not sure but i think it was stage 3? i was in her room in the hospital when she died, i saw her when she died, i was too young as a kid to understand what was actually happening, and foolishly, i said “let’s go cry” but in my native language, and i sure cried, but im not sure about any of my cousins and siblings there. i never got to spend much time with either of them, and i really hope they’re both doing well in heaven, because they’re important people to me. im sorry i turned out this way, i didn’t mean to be this way, it just happened, things happen, but i hope no matter what i am, you still accept me. just remember this. i miss you. -a2n2

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