#1680

Sameer:

I k ow it is too long. But please suggest me. It is very very serious I need a suggestion.
The thing is I have about to engaged to a girl (Doctor) who has done from AMU. And you know about me that I m engineer and now working here in dubai from last 3 years.

She is very very dedicated about her career right now. She have a very clear view in her mind that she has to clear IAS any how. She don’t want to put her down and don’t want to come dubai. She said I will come in worst case if even after 2-3 years I will not get cleared. Then she will come to Dubai only in worst case otherwise she wants to clear her exam anyhow.

So right now many things are coming in my mind which never came in my mind. And my friends always tells me that mohsin doctor girl is OK because you are also engineer but if she will become IPS or ias then you will not feel comfortable and respected. You will only feel degraded. As no one will respect you personality. They will respect you just because of your wife. And your wife will have that power in future to decide each and everything without your consent. And then you will feel like a hell and degraded like a servant not as husband.

She loves me and I loves her too. And wants to marry her and she also wants to marry me. But these things are coming in my mind that I cannot do do job in India’s private sector as they gives very less salary. And right now I m not in that condition to start a business as it takes minimum 20 lakhs. So I m very confused what to do. I permitted her to do job as I don’t want to ruin her profession as she is a doctor and according to islam a girl can do any job and go out for job if she is doing it in islamic way and that job will serve humanity. And according to serving the humanity she is no doubt have both profession to serve humanity. But my male ego is fearing me. What will happen of my identity. Mera wujood kya hoga. she will listen to me or not. will she respect me and my decisions. Mere decisions or baat ki ehmiyat honi k nahi. And I cannot stop her to leave this preparation Because it is her dream and passion. I m not that person who can ruin anyone’s dream for my happiness and insecurity.And she is very ambitious girl. Or ye mera zameer kabhi gawaara nahi karega k uske khwaab ko rokun.And i don’t want that life k i will live here in dubai and she will stay in India then what is the need of marriage. As she is very busy schedule and also will have in future too.i also deserves to be spoiled by someone’s love
I also deserve to be cared
I also deserve to be pampered like all men gets from their girls and wife.
I also deserve to be on priority
I also deserve to be loved like crazy
I also deserve to have a girl who waits for me or crazy for me
I also deserve to get a time from my partner.
I also deserve to be respected from my wife as husband. Right now I can adjust but for future I deserves this and will have want of these things too. I m not jealous of her to be an IAS officer but have fear of change in her behaviour, life, respect and rejections of my decisions in future marriage life. Because definetly i will feel like this. But if she will provide me all these things then I don’t have any fear and issue of rising this status and level of her. And in that case I will support her in each and everything. So kindly suggest me whether I should proceed. And support everything of her. Councell me please for my best. And advice me the best.

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