I don’t want to even try anymore. I’m so tired of working so hard to fix my head, having a good few days only to end up right back where I am now. I am just waiting to die. The only thing that keeps me from committing suicide is my stupid love and empathy for others in my life. Even though I feel they have shown little to me in return. Every day I pray to not wake up, be in a horrific accident, or even just be diagnosed with cancer so I can refuse treatment and know that the clock is finally ticking down to the end.