#1257

I’m learning to let go. I’ve been in love for a year and a half now, and have never felt anything like it. Sure I’ve had typical attractions and infatuations. But this one was different. I didn’t know exactly why I loved this person. There was no specific reason. I just loved them for them. And after a while of trying to win them, I realized. I didn’t need them to love me back. If they were going to be happier with someone else, then they deserved to be as happy as possible. I wondered at first if this meant I didn’t love them anymore. If I shouldn’t have been that willing to let them go. But I know that it was out of pure love now. It’s just been a bit hard to accept that I may never have a relationship this person. We’ve been close to going on dates and such, but never made anything official. And time has just seemed to decrease the amount of things like that happening. I wish something could have happened between us. But I want what’s best for them more than what I want for me. They deserve to be more than just a fantasy come true. Or to feel like that. And if they aren’t going to be as happy with me as they could be with someone else, then they deserve to be with that special someone else. It’s just that I feel like when I let them go, a piece of me is suddenly missing. Something inside of me is breaking. It’s like losing a home. This person and my live for them…. was my home. Is my home. But I may never get to live there completely. And I feel like the world is losing it’s color. I know it sounds dramatic, but I just wish love wasn’t so hard.

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