#1236

So I really screwed up. I sure enough did. I took you for granted and I thought that there was something more than what there was. You promised me we would do this one thing together and today you told me no. My heart broke. You thought way too far deep into what I said and caused a massive wall to be built instantaneously between us.

I have poured my heart out to you, I have told you so many things that I would and could not ever tell anyone else. I trusted you, I confided in you and now I believe I shouldn’t have told you one damn thing. I’m such a fricken fool! Sure, you said things to me too but I never used them against you. In some sort of odd way I really do think you used all the things I told you, nearly all my secrets, against me. I didn’t ever think you could be so low as to do that. Ever. You acted so petty.

I am not without shame but neither are you. To lead me on and not tell me what you honestly and really wanted was wrong. Maybe you should have said something to me weeks ago and not until we had a flare up today. There has been weeks in between your current life and when you and I planned what we were going to do together. You KNOW just how much time and money I had invested into this plan of ours and to rectify you say you will just pay me back the money I used. What the hell is that? You could pay me back ten fold but that does not and will not cover the back stabbing act you pulled today.

Can I trust you anymore. NO WAY! Will I ever EVER share ANYTHING with you personal again? NOT A CHANCE! So now you will feel the wrath that others know. You will be the one that has fallen out of my good graces and know what it’s like to have an unconditional love taken away. Pleasantries, smiles and how-do-you-dos will still be around but none of them heartfelt. I will not go out of my way to ask how you’re doing, ask about any issues we have ever talked about that concerns you, ask about your well being nor ever talk about anything we have ever talked about in the past. You will not ever know just how much you hurt me. I will not give you the satisfaction nor the opportunity to ever know.

Maybe later in life you will know what it’s like to lose such a good person in your life because I obviously was not that person, but when they do come around and they use you, like you did me, I hope you feel that pain you have given me times the heat of a thousand suns. To take someones heart and pound it on the ground is not only egotistical but shows just what sort of character you possess. If anyone that knows you could only know just how awful you can be when you only see what’s good for you at the moment.

You have broke this person and it will take so much time to heal. Thank you for having me crawl back into my hole that I called home for all these years, thank you for making me realize that once again I can trust no one. All this because you wouldn’t tell me where anything stood BEFORE I progressed with MY time. You said you appreciate people taking time out for you, well what the hell was I doing then? OH YEA! I was WASTING MY TIME WITH YOU and you ate it up like candy all the while laughing at me, seeing just how far you could take me. I can not BELIEVE you did this. I can not BELIEVE you are actually a punk ass and I thought of you differently. You actually suck!

I once told you that you were the best person to come into my life for a long time, now I know you were the absolute WORST one to ever cross my path, and the sad thing about all of this, if anyone does come around that is really sincere or really cares, someone that REALLY wants to be part of my life, I won’t ever know and that would be because of you…. you piece of SHI*!

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