#1228

I’m lonely. Every second of everyday. I’m alone in my head with the thoughts that torment me. When I’m with my best friend the voices quite. She’s like an unknowing protector. When he held me I felt the voices roar with all the nastiest things. At first I thought they were all lies. He cared. He was a good friend. He loved me. But. He didn’t. He used me when he was lonely. I guess it’s no different from me, but I wanted his happiness. I wanted him to have all the joy and love. Then he started dating someone else. He said we’d be best friends still. But as time passes, I realize he stayed out of guilt. Not because he actually cared. But because he didn’t want to be the guy that took my virginity then left me. Guess it’s my fault. I care for anyone who tells me I’m human. I care with everything I have. There’s someone new. She’s kind and beautiful. I want to care for her, but maybe me caring so much is what my problem is. Maybe I’m just the problem in general. She’ll tire of me, like they all do. But I’ll enjoy the tango. Because dancing is still fun, even after you’ve broken your bones.

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