Sometimes I think about killing myself just they would know. she who judged me for not sleeping early enough, not cleaning enough, and eating too much. the teachers who thought I was just becoming lazy and a slob. Would they understand then, that I never asked for tired swollen eyes, that I never wished for their sympathy, only a bit of understanding. I’m exhausted, lifeless, and every single goddamn day I’m working to the fucking bone just to keep everything MOVING still. And what would they have seen in those last days? Just another student. Not trying much at all.

But if I killed myself? They would finally know.


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