#1202

Emsea:

I admit that i often get jealous of other girls that are closer to him. But i honestly have no right to be jealous since i don’t even try to be closer to him. I can’t talk to him properly and I can’t say hi to him because i’m too shy. I even start to wonder if he even considers me as a friend when i barely even talk to him. I remember when he and my best friend liked each other. No one knew how heartbroken i was. They all thought i was fine since i “just have a crush” on him. But I honestly don’t think that’s the case anymore. I would often get jealous of the way that he looked at her, or the way that they hung out together. The fact that there were only the three of us that usually hung out together was torture for me. That whole school year was torture because of that. But i couldn’t really tell my best friend since she already did get mad when she found out i liked him too. She just hid it from me. She even got jealous when there was nothing to be jealous of. I remember one time that we were all together with some other friends and i just saw him and my best friend holding hands. It’s petty for me to get jealous just because of that, but I just did. My chest literally started aching and i just wanted to cry. This year i finally confessed and it seems like he starts to talk to me more. But im honestly just satisfied with being a close friend… if that would ever happen. But i just cant help but get heartbroken at the fact that he likes someone else when i feel like i’m starting to fall for him ever since three years ago when i first felt attracted to him…

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