i never liked someone back in elementary, i would pretend that i have a crush on someone because all of my friends have one while i don’t. i honestly thought that having a crush on someone was something i wasn’t into until i entered high school. there was this one boy who always caught my attention from the other classroom besides mine ever since the first day of school, every time i always pass by his room i always look for him for some reason. i started to be more curious about his name and then i found out that my classmate was friends with him since elementary. i always ask my classmate about him and i began to stalk him on facebook. we both had interactions in personal but never really had any conversations, i was shy and so was he. sometimes when i look at him and feel that i have a chance with him but…turns out i don’t. i send confession letters to him but he doesn’t seem to respond or write a letter back to me, that made me realized that the chances to be with him are very low and i’m making a fool of myself. i really wanted to be with him. i like him– no, i love him. every time, every where, he is the only one who fills my mind that made it impossible for me to focus on anything like my teacher’s discussion and do homework. i always find myself at home, laying in bed trying to fall out of love. i never really felt such emotion before. i told myself everyday that i don’t love him anymore, trying to move one. trying to love another person that is not him but my heart is wants him. i love him so much it hurts, it very hurts. i always imagine us together in my imagination, where we love each other. but imagination remains as an imagination, in reality, it will never be like that which is honestly a huge slap in the face. i really want to move on so badly, i want to forget him. i wish i could. sleepless night became a daily routine, i can’t shut my mind off because of one person. i wish i could just forget him. i hate it.


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