#1129

To the guy who used to be my favorite person:

You were broken when I met you. Sigurado ako diyan. You were depressed and noong mga panahong yun ako lang yung pinagkakatiwalaan mo. Sobrang dami mong pinagdaraanan that time, you girlfriend just broke up with you tapos family problems, financial problems and many more, then you opened yourself up to me. You told me your darkest secrets, and your deepest fears. I did the same thing too. Kilalang-kilala natin yung isa’t isa. Ako tinatakbuhan mo pag malungkot ka. We’d stay up all night talking about our fucked-up lives. You always thought na I was strong for being able to love like I’ve never been hurt, for still seeing the good in everyone and everything, and for being optimistic. And because of you mas naging confident ako. For months and months nagpatuloy tayo sa ganitong set-up. We were happy. Naging sobrang close tayo. We’d joke about liking each other. For you, they were just jokes. Pero para sakin hindi. Cliche noh? Pero slowly, alam kong nagkakagusto na ko sayo. You accepted my flaws, my broken pieces, pero you always made me feel whole. Na parang walang kulang sakin. Grabe ka mageffort, you have work pero lagi kang may time na kausapin ako. Pag kausap kita feel ko okay na yung araw ko. Months passed, naging busy ako sa school, while ikaw naging busy sa work. Then somehow, bigla lang na di na tayo nagusap. Di ako nag effort kasi natatakot akong istorbohin ka, and di ka narin nageffort na kausapin ako. After a month, grineet kita nung christmas pero di ka nagreply. It took you a couple of days bago magreply and nakaramdan ako na parang may mali. Dumating yung new year, and paggising ko nakita ko picture mo with your ex. Nagkabalikan kayo. You looked so happy. And i was happy for you too. You, of all people, deserve happiness. Di na ko nagchat sayo after that. Tapos a week later, nagdm ka sa twitter. You guys broke up again. Siya nakipagbreak. Again, i was there for you. I listened to you rant about your girl. Nasaktan ako non especially sa mga sinabi mo about her. I was hurt kasi nasaktan ka ulit. Nasaktan ka niya ulit. The next day, kinamusta kita tapos biglang ang dry mo sa chat. Then kinabukasan, i stalked your fb page. Nagkabalikan ulit kayo. I messaged you, and asked if okay na kayo ulit. You said na pinatawad mo ulit siya. Then we stopled talking ever since.

Alam niyo yung masakit? It wasnt the fact na may mahal siyang iba. It was the fact na he left. Nangiwan siya bigla. May mga times na gusto ko siya kausapin kaso di ko alam kubg pano. There were times na di ako makatulog kasi ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko and siya lang gusto kong makausap kaso di na pwede. Gago. I needed him. I need him. Hanggang ngayon siya parin yung gusto kong takbuhan pag may problema ako. It sucks y’all.

Pag nakita mo to, i just wanna tell you na andito lang ako. Nandito parin ako saa lugar kung san mo ko iniwan.

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