#1080

“What is love?”, a certain teacher asks her students. Great. We’re going to be having a (really long)song about love as out topic for the last grading. Upset that no one is answering, she repeats the question again, much louder this time.

I chuckle quietly to myself. Love, huh…? I resist the urge to raise my hand. I’m not exactly fluent in Filipino, let alone can I explain something as complicated as that. And as I watched and listened to people giving their thoughts, I kept mine to myself.

Well, the thing is, there really isn’t a universally accepted answer to that question. It can mean a lot of things to each and every one of us. There isn’t really an exact definition, but I think that’s what makes it more mysterious, more magical.

To others, it might be the way their face turns bright red, the way the butterflies in their stomach simply won’t disappear. Ths way that this person’s smile seems to light uo the room. The way their laughter is slowly becoming one of their favourite sounds. The way that simply looking at this person gives them so much happiness, and it makes them think of how lucky they are to have this them. The way they have to restrain themselves from throwing themselves upon this person, showering them with hugs and kisses and love in general.

Others think of love as a quite unpleasant thing. They don’t particularly hate it, but there’s just this feeling of unease whenever they love someone, and they wished they never did. Its the thoughts that follow them everywhere, the anxieties and the confusion. They tend to overthink certain situations, and it just leaves them mentally and emotionay drained. When someone likes them back, they become so unbearably anxious that its hard for them to function. And they quite dislike this feeling. They might think of love as a curse, a pain in the ass, a burden, another problem added. And that’s honestly okay.

Others think about it as something that they are unable to get it out of their heads. The fact that the slightest bit of attention, the slightest bit of kindness sticks to them; and it doesn’t quite leave them quite easily. It just stays there, and they find themselves feeling something much more than just friendship. These are people who can be taken by just a single smile, a wink, a kind act. A simple “hello” and “how are you?” can leave them standing there, red in the face. These are people who fall quite easily, people who get crushed under the weight of their feelings a lot. Who can’t stop themselves from having these damn feelings. From loving too much. Caring too much. Loving someone can be really hard sometimes, especially when you simply just can’t stop.

Some don’t even think about it much. Its something that doesn’t quite interest them. They don’t find it particularly enjoyable. Its just something that happens. Its normal. And if it happens, it happens.

To some, its that hurt and happiness that they feel when looking at that person. They way that their smile makes The fact that they know- that person is perfectly capable of destroying them, and you can’t do anything about it. But that’s fine. They’re fine with that fact. As long as they can spend time with them, make memories with them, the pain really doesn’t matter. To them, love is bittersweet, a mix of pain and pleasure; of happiness and sadness; of ups and downs. The fact that they can bear the pain, just for love.

As I was thinking about these possible answers, and how much I wanted to answer them, I realized that we were already talking about something else. So I kept them inside, as something I just thought of in the spur of a moment. As something left unsaid.

And honestly, that’s fine. I don’t think I’d have enough courage, anyway. They’d probably laugh, or make fun of me. I can’t blame them if they do, I think I’m being quite extra.

But then again, this is what I really feel about this topic. And you can’t really silence the things you want to say, you can’t really supress the things you feel. Just like love.

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